Confrontation is not easy to do for most people. We try very hard to avoid and pretend everything's okay. Here are the Ten Commandments of Confrontation that may help you.
1. Do it privately, not publicly.
2. Do it as soon as possible.
3. Speak to one issue at a time. Don't overload the person with a long list of issues.
4. Once you've made a point, don't keep repeating it.
5. Deal only with actions the person can change. If you ask the person to do something he or she is unable to do, frustration builds in your relationship.
6. Avoid sarcasm. Sarcasm signals that you are angry at people, not at their actions, and may cause them to resent you.
7. Avoid words like always and never. They usually detract from accuracy and make people defensive.
8. Present criticisms as suggestions or questions if possible.
9. Don't apologize for the confrontational meeting. Doing so detracts from it and may indicate you are not sure you had the right to say what you did.
10. Don't forget the compliments. Use what I call the "sandwich" in these types of meetings:
Compliment-Confront-Compliment.
--- John Maxwell, best-selling author of Developing The Leader Within You.
